Whatever it is that is happening to me, I don't like it anymore. Since the day I found out about our baby I've shed tears of puzzling emotions everyday, happy, anxious, sad, and last night was the worst of all, it was depressing. I couldn't bear that I had thoughts of not keeping my baby anymore. Shame on me! It was depressing while thinking about it, and it came to a point that I will not keep that as an option. I really felt bad for stressing out my baby too much. Kenneth loves us too much he doesn't want to loose either of us.
Right now, I know doing that is one thing that I am going to regret for the rest of my life and I believe in karma as much as I'm afraid of it. I've been skeptic long enough but now I think God wouldn't give this to us if He knows we can't handle it, though I still think we're the two unlikely people to have a kid this early. Still looking at the bright side, the Big Boss trusts us with a life, that is big. While I still can, I am involving myself into solo projects (on the sides) that leads me to earning more. I already started with my designing project and as soon as next week I am going to train my swimmer. Hopefully I'm still doing good with my current job. Right now, I am just afraid to fail and loose anything that I have.
Thank you to someone who jammed last night but still calmed me down, and to her lover who loves me too. ♥
It's hard but its all gonna be worth it. :D
And as he asked if I would come along
I started to realize
That everyday you find
Just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star he shines.
**********
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