wiped out, wiped away.

LAST POST

2008-11-14T17:33:00.002+08:00

Click here to view my other blog.

I wouldn't be posting here anymore

Enough said

stretch them legs

2008-11-10T15:16:00.002+08:00

...and use the stairs.

for a month already I didn't ran out of excuses to stop working out.

1st week - laziness
2nd week - out of town, probably laziness too
3rd week - allergies and bad colds
4th week - monthly "hassle"

and just to get me started on working out again(next week), I'd rather use the stairs going up and down and walk some more. 5 story's not a bad start.

La Union and Baguio

2008-10-29T16:27:00.001+08:00

After more than 2 months, I went back to La Union to surf and feel good heat of the sun – though the original plan was “not to surf”. We weren’t supposed to leave until Saturday morning but I secretly packed my beach and surfing stuff and stole a moment of whining and begging so I can push through with my ‘secret’ plan. Knowing Tor, he really hates it if something planned doesn’t push thru or something unplanned goes on, but good Lord, thank you for allowing me to go!

We finished our last-minute-packing, impulsively invited our friend Marc to tag along and viola, we’re off to the bus station to catch our ride going to San Juan, La Union. Departure is at 2:00am, arrived at San Juan 7:00am, just in time for the baby waves. By the looks of it, it seemed a party wasn’t held the night before. The beach was clean, tents were prepped for the Surf Break and the place was a little packed with guests and locals. I only had almost 2 hours to surf, since we had to be somewhere else and the Surf Clinic was the priority of the beach. It was a bit frustrating that I didn’t get to ride long because I kept on slipping, falling and seriously wiped away. The board I used even gave me a big bruise on my left thigh. No pain no gain, Baby. Oh well.

The real purpose of this trip was to attend the birthday celebration of Nestor’s mom and yeah, meet the family. It was fun, they were accommodating and very hospitable but I can’t deny the fact that I’d fret and was shy. Again, I went through this process of meeting the whole family of my better half – its not that there’s something bad about it, I just wish that this would the last family that I’d expect to be my in-laws.

Going to Baguio was nostalgic - My visions may not be clear but I can clearly recall the long trips I used to have with my family when we were still complete, we’d go to so many places, have so much fun just being around each other and wear out ourselves. It brought back the child in me, it brought back my innocence. Nestor was extremely happy to go back to his hometown as well, as if he’s a little boy again.

baby boy garcia

2008-10-24T09:19:00.002+08:00

my brother's girlfriend (Kaycee) gave birth to Kion Andre on Oct. 23 at around 9pm. I'm really excited to see my nephew and I love him already, though I haven't seen pictures of him yet. I can't wait to fly to davao and be a real tita and a godmother :) since I won't be having my own child for 3plus years, this baby will be so spoiled. haha. pictures to be posted later.

congrats to Ace and Kaycee :)

Earlier this week:
*Tor hung out at home with my mom and sister, those two are so fond of him, favoritism!
*I still don't know how I got a really bad tummy ache.
*Went to my cousin's birthday and fought with someone blaming me for getting drunk, wtf.
* Prepped for La Union. Hello waves :D

unSTOKED

2008-10-09T14:35:00.003+08:00

daym! the planned la union is postponed 'til the 24th of october.

i was too excited to go back surfing i even bought my own leash for the board without owning one. hah.

hey there, buddy.

2008-10-08T16:14:00.002+08:00

I’ve become too independent and that should be a good thing, right? It may seem that I don’t appreciate the things done for me (like fetching me at the office when it rains, bringing me home, joining me for lunch, waking me up every morning, constantly checking up on me even if it bugs me already, and always reminding me of the future we might have/we will have) but seriously, I do appreciate every little thing about it. It’s not obvious though, I know I can manage by myself. Honestly speaking, comparing the cards at hand, I never felt this important as before. It’s like WOAH! WOW! Imagine the time I’ve wasted with that no good son of a b*tch ass**** when it was supposed to be with this MAN. But what the hell, it’s all happening now. Cheers!

I expected so little about US, close to nothing at all, it’s too soon to tell but we will be grand. Great expectation comes greater disappointments. It would be a great loss if I let this noble one go. My loss.

Light it up and let’s puff to forever.

2008-10-07T09:54:00.004+08:00

once again, its nice waking up to reality with you than spend endless nights dreaming without you. (10/06/2008)

It's ALL GOOD

2008-09-12T17:25:00.001+08:00

We could just be, We could just breathe.

it's all GOOD.

GOOD BYE

2008-09-01T08:47:00.002+08:00

Just like in any other occasions, I just had to say good bye to my first lomo Diana+. I found you better owners and they adore you. Be good to them :D

Failing mark

2008-08-14T09:34:00.002+08:00

I barely reached 50%. only 7 out of 16. pffft.

the rest of the picures can be found here.
or here, if you are my contact :D
comments please, thank you.

The Confession

2008-08-12T18:03:00.006+08:00

Not being accused with anything, a confession directly from the horse's mouth. I knew she was capable of doing such thing. I can not further express my anger, there is no point to it. Damage has been done.

Its bad enough that you claim you can read people, you make it worse by saying lies and calling people names. Don't make yourself look even more stupid the way you are acting right now. Grow up, human.

Enough with the bribery, silent treatment and stupidity. Let me move up and forward.

For the meantime, let me just take advantage and benefit from your "resources". I have my own ways. You taught me well, thank you.

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER, Literally.

2008-08-01T09:51:00.003+08:00

I would be really disappointed if this impulsive trip to La Union will be canceled. Overseas, I still asked permission from my mom and I must comply to few conditions so I can still go, that is (1) must complete my counseling for July, check! (2) get new blood [to avoid fainting while in the sea and what not] CHECK! - a total rip-off but its worth it, (3) and other of her BLAH stuff that I can do when we both get back and I am good to go. I feel pumped. Haha. Really great! Good morning rainy first day of August and hello La Union!

Despite the rain, what the hell, we're still going :) and I can finally take my Diana+ out.

being a thug

2008-07-29T13:20:00.004+08:00

means you don't have to say sorry and be sorry. saying sorry is just another way of telling people they can treat you the way they want them to treat you.

on the other hand...

i am thankful that i have a sane boyfriend who keeps our relationship getting better and who makes our relationship with other people bearable.

woop dee doo

2008-07-24T11:28:00.001+08:00

today is our 5th month together. ever since we started our relationship, we only spent "monthsary" together ONCE cause it was a weekend of May,and also my cousin's birthday party. since i am so used to celebrating on my own, this month, i think i overdid and overdoing it already.

monday - spent almost the whole day watching WEEDS.
tuesday - i went shopping, bought me some stuff. shoes, shirts, belt and little things for myself. crappy dinner alone.

wednesday - i had a pricey lunch (no point), i had a haircut, i bought cake and had my mom and sister eat it.

thursday - i am having a pricey dinner with mom, sister and mother's boyfriend tonight at intercon or makati shang, i think. (hah. i can't even call them family altogether)
friday - i still don't know what i'm gonna do but probably, in any way, i am going out. it might be a good day to get high though, whatever.
saturday - aside from chores, i am going to this 80's party and finally see my friends again :) then see my boyfriend. yehey :)

jeez, by far, this is the most depressing but therapeutic week of joo-lie. i am having too much alone time already, i'm okay about it. i'm sad cause i am still alone when i do spontaneous things. i'm furious cause my mom and sister thinks i am not happy with my boyfriend and our relationship cause i'm still not cheerful enough and still acts up. i am more than happy, its the arrangement i hate so much.

All I need is the air that I breathe, and to love you.

2008-07-18T13:42:00.003+08:00

ABSOLUTELY NO LYING QUIZ

1. last cigarette?
this morning

2. last beverage:
warm water

3. last phone call?
last night, coach Cua

4. last text message:
you missed practice this morning – coach Cua

5. last song played:
The air that I breathe – Hollies

6: last BUBBLE bath:
I can’t even remember having one.

7: last time you cried:
July 10, after a big fight and when I almost had a heart attack

8. last meal:
a while ago during lunch, Jules made libre Yellow Cab and ice cream

SEVEN have you’s:
1. have you ever dated someone twice?
Yes.

3. have you ever kissed someone & regreted it?
Yes.

4. have you ever fallen in love?
Yes and still in love

5. have you ever lost someone?
yeah, who hasn’t?

6.have you ever slept until 2am?
yeah.

7. have you ever been drunk and thrown up?
YES! But that was before when I used to be a heavy drinker/drunkard.

SIX things you did in the past three days:
-Wednesday, walked in the rain
-update planner
-watched a movie
-Thursday, breakfast with Mom and Ate
-played in the field
-Friday, work out in the morning

list FIVE people you can tell pretty much anything to?
Kenneth
Yen
Ate Karen
Carlo
Dr. Meneses

list THREE favorite colors:
Black
Gray
Red

list FOUR things you want to do before you die
-marry Kenneth
-back packing in a foreign country
-go mining or treasure hunting
-build myself a house :D

This month have you…
Laughed until you cried:
no, it’s a blunt month.

Went behind your parents back?
oh yes, like so many times.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT:
1. Your last kiss?
Sad, time to go home again.

2. Gay Marriage?
Steady.

3. Lowering the drinking age?
No one follows it anyway. – I agree pens!

4. Straight, Gay, or Bi?
Whatev, don’t really care.

5. Who are the best huggers that you know?
My last bestfriend JM and Kenneth

6. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.. but a bull-shit-er would say “na-love at first yata ako”. ay sus.

7. Is there something you want to tell someone?
Yeah, to a lot of people. I don’t know when I’ll get the chance.

8. What brand of shirt are you wearing?
David and Goliath.

9. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
Kenneth is on my top friends, so, yeah.

10. What is your current annoyance?
Pigging-out lately :-(

11. How many kids do you want to have?
Maximum of 2.

12. Do you want to change your name?
Nope, ‘Elise’ is quite unique. Heh.

13. Last time you saw your father?
May 24, my cousin Carlo’s birthday.

14. What did you do for your last birthday?
Work, we had pizza in the office, I had coffee in the afternoon, walked going home, slept the night away. Sheesh, turning 21 felt bad.

15.What time did you wake up today?
a lil past 8. Oops.

16. What were you doing at midnight?
Listening to Pedicab and texting.

17. Name something you CANNOT wait to do?
Secret. Hehe, I can wait naman.

18. What are your favorite things in your room?
Lunch box under the bed
The LaSalle pillow-shirt from my barkada, 1^st year HS pa yun!
Books and sometimes my sister’s ipod.

19. Where is your best friend right now?
Still in Sydney I think, with his daughter.

It effin' goes on

2008-07-16T12:07:00.003+08:00

It's quite evident that I depend on medications so much and I am wishing badly that I stop soon. And that could only happen if I get any better. I was hoping I'd be better the 'natural way' but who am I kidding, its already bad enough that I distance myself to others just to be in a neutral mood and please don't make it worse by butting in my own business. I don't get it how it became your business as well. Now please, get off my back!!!

The weather is crazy, messing up most of Northern Luzon and flooding up streets, including ours. Slums, what the hell. But this cracks me up, the high-intensity earthquake prediction happening on Friday. Hah. GGGRRReat! Come on, earthquakes can't be predicted. I heard over the radio this morning, the swarms (frequent little earthquakes) can go on for a month. So yes, we're gonna get a little shaky.

My movie-watching-on-the-net goes on and lately, I liked watching on CS. Haha, I never watched Prison Break before (but they have it on CS on weekdays, 7pm), and I really like how the Manhunt goes. At last, they don't look like each other, wearing the same clothes in prison cells. I think that got me confused for a while, they all looked alike. My reading is paused for a while, so as photography and working out (though I get to play soccer on weekends if I don't have counseling, if someone invites me, and if I'm not in Bulacan. Which doesn't happen all the time; workout = 0).

mad + sick + bored + fat = me

Sobriety

2008-07-02T11:00:00.008+08:00

We celebrated my cousin's brother-in-law's birthday at The Building this weekend and anticipated the Pacquiao-Diaz match the next day.

Paolo "Paeng" Mendoza turned 19 on 29 June 2008, with the company of close family and new friends. I am proud that I wasn't even tempted to drink that night, didn't even feel invited by those line of bottles :D So much for meds, therapy and counseling, I am more than a month sober.

And so, since I'm left sober, I kinda witnessed bitching and cheating that night. Kristin, the girl I semi-respected only because she's a girlfriend of a cousin overseas, left no respect for herself. I knew she's not to be trusted. At the same time, I saw how immature and careless my cousins get when drinking, include Kenneth to them.

It makes me wonder how I used to act before.

TV, Literature and Film

2008-06-18T15:41:00.006+08:00

It wasn't that long ago when Gossip Girl got me hooked with the Upper Eastside and the elites. I finished season 1 already and I can't wait for season 2. I think I just fell in love with Chuck and Blair's character and their tandem. I'm not a big fan of vanity but there is something between the two that got me really hooked. So Ima wait for season 2! :D Excited!

As planned, I'm supposed to be bookish. But after reading Twisted 8 (by Jessica Zafra), I couldn't find a book that has the same irony and sarcasm except for Robert Greene's Power which is more on the serious side, not too sarcastic. I'm gonna set that aside first.

So.. I've been watching a lot of cartoons and movies lately and I'm still trying to catch up on the movies I missed, which is A LOT!

Here's a list of the movies I watched recently.

1. Surf's Up
2. TMNT
3. Meet the Robinsons
4. Flushed Away
5. Simpsons Movie
6. Knocked Up
7. Stardust
8. What Happens in Vegas
9. Kung Fu Panda
10. Superbad
11. Little Miss Sunshine
12. Over the Hedge
13. Fool's Gold

○○○○○

Coco turned 1

2008-06-17T10:05:00.002+08:00

Last 10 June 2008, my Coco turned 1 year old. That's not his actual birth date but its been a year already since he was given to me. I feel bad for not giving him so much attention like before when he was only a pup but I still attend to his needs except play time. A week ago, I was about to unleash him and when I was just about to do it, he scratched me everywhere and that stopped me from letting him play. Plus, I really hate it when stray cats bother him, I hate cats cause of that, and they steal his food! Sometimes its tempting to unleash him and let him attack those cats but it scares me that he might attack the bitch dog next door instead. Yeah, Coco is still a virgin and I want to keep it that way but my mom and sister gets disturbed whenever they see him hard.

Haha, Disturbed.

Blogthings

2008-06-04T09:39:00.001+08:00

Your Aura is Red

You have a high level of emotion. This can mean passion, but it can also mean rage.

Usually, you don't take these emotions out on others. You just use them as motivation - and it works!

The purpose of your life: embracing all the wonders of the life, lots of travels, and tons of adventures

Famous reds include: Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Lopez

Careers for you to try: Dancer, Boxer, Surgeon

What Color Is Your Aura?

You Are 75% Passionate, 25% Compassionate

You are very passionate, especially when it comes to love.

In fact, it's sometimes difficult for you to tell between love and lust.

You jump in head first, and figure things out later... usually when it's all over!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

You Are A Relationship Rescuer!

You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together

The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think.

You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule.

And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that

Do You Ruin Relationships With Men?

Crashed

2008-06-02T09:56:00.004+08:00

Friday evening I went straight to Kenneth's place to catch up on sleep. Wow. 10 hours straight. Its like I took 2 tabs of Valiums but no, apparently that's the effect of the medicines I'm taking, I am becoming more passive and slow and drowsy. I hate it.

Saturday came and I just have to get my blood all flowing so we went for a swim. I had a swimming class. 3 little girls, Kenneth's sister and cousins. I really don't wanna teach "family" cause I know how a handle kids, I'm too strict and as much as possible everything should be running smoothly since its a class. I know I was too harsh on them, but they learned, that was what's important and I get to work out even for a bit. It was a bad idea though, I had fever that night. Boohoo.

I was already asleep when Carlo texted where I was and he's really bored, I replied then they asked if it was okay that they gatecrash. Kenneth thought it wasn't a good idea cause I still need to rest (again), I jumped off the bed and told him I'm bored and its nice to have other people in the house. Then of course, he said okay. Carlo and Pao arrived 1am and they had steady booze(ye, no more drinking for me) but we were up 'til sun rise, they were singing to Air Supply and Parokya ni Edgar. We swam again later that day. It was a steady Sunday. Then again, Carlo, Pao and I had to go back home already. We were singing to Bob's songs, windows down and I was sleepy again.

My mom told on me already, I should stop going to Bulacan cause of my new condition. It sucks. If she only knew, despite the travel time, that's my only chance to deeply rest. I'm following...my doctor.

We're turning 3... months

2008-05-23T14:20:00.005+08:00

It has been only 5 days since I last him and tomorrow, we're already turning three months. I love him so much. I'm so worried about him. As I write, a big part of his unhealed infected cut is deteriorating and little by little, he's getting poisoned. I blame him. He can't take care of himself and he listens to the wrong people. I constantly tell him to take his antibiotics regularly, dress his wound and avoid the food that's keeping his wound fresh (chicken, seafoods, fried food, etc). Still he listens to others who doesn't have a clue what might happen to him and now its happening. I'm gonna give him a good beating if something worse happens. I just can't wait to get out and give him the aid he needs :(

Please let not this be the reason to spoil a great event happening tomorrow.

Happy 20th birthday Bash!!!

Its Bash's 20th birthday tomorrow! We both missed out on each other during our early teens and just recently last year we would hang out almost like every weekend. I love them!

Stress, with a capital S.

2008-05-22T16:42:00.003+08:00

All of a sudden I became so interested on adopting this junk-sort of contraption parked along our street and get it into running again. This big piece of a junk is a Mazda 323 Familia model '95, an old taxi and has been stocked up for almost two years. Truth is, I'm not really into getting my own car, I'm fine with commuting and having someone pick me up or drop me off, whatever. I just want this old piece of Sh*t to be a use to everyone and of course for myself. And also, I'm not yet earning that big to get my own set of wheels. And my tito made me a deal, if mom said yes, I can go on fixing/owning the car.

My fickle minded mom said yes without any doubt and as first step to get this car running is to have it registered again. Hello penalty, hello disconnection sh*t, hello transfer crap and yeah, RIP OFF!!!

And this broke my freaking heart apart, mom said not to push through with it anymore, cause it's bulok, sirain, etc and she suggested that I get a second hand car instead, which wasn't really a bad idea. Then gradually, she started talking about the beach front lot we have in Cebu, the undone condo in Pasig, water and electric bills. I knew where it was going.. A big bubble formed above her head screaming:

HELP ME WITH THE BILLS!
HELP ME WITH HAVING THE CONDO DONE!!!
HELP ME BUILD A HOUSE IN THAT LOT IN CEBU!!!

Then I just found myself saying YES to those. Earlier today, I was caught in a trap. They got me a post-paid Sun line (group plan 999) and they expect me to pay the monthly dues.

STRESS defined.

Happy Birthday Bro

2008-05-20T13:54:00.002+08:00

Happy 20th birthday to you bro, cheers man!
You're not so young anymore,
you're gonna be a dad na I'm so excited for you.
I love you shoti!
I so miss you.

This is TRUE LOVE ♥

2008-05-15T13:48:00.005+08:00

I super love these two!!! Finally, our get together happened.
I really missed them!
♥♥♥

There's a Danger in Loving Somebody too much

2008-05-14T09:42:00.004+08:00

And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
there's a reason why people don't stay the where they are
Baby sometimes Love just ain't enough

This might be the answer others look for. Patti (Smith) said it, Love is not enough.

And I'm glad my assessment days are over. I'm pretty much satisfied with my current relationship and where ever it takes me, it keeps on getting better day by day. It may seem I wasn't confident about our relationship but what the hell, I just realized how lucky we are to be together. JACKPOT!

This week, I noticed some changes happening to me and Kenneth. Ever since his foot casualty, I've been really strict to him and I don't allow him to go out anymore or move a lot, I just want him to be still to prevent more injuries or worsen it. And it was really tough because our only way of communicating was through YM and it was so hard to get through. I was already assuming that its alright with him if we didn't really talk at all then just this past few days, its as if he's making up for last week's very little communication. All of a sudden he's sweet and all so mushy and all I could say was HUH?/ NYEH../ or just give a blank face and ignore the message but deep inside I think I was blushing or having goosebumps already. Truth is, I'm not used to being so intentionally sweet anymore and the things he does really catches me off guard. Like one time when I arrived in Bulacan he was playing something on his guitar and he pulled out a flower from the hole of the guitar, it was so corny but super kilig! Haha

Its been a long time since he did something so corny like that and I think he's making me fall in love all over again.

Ending this post before I get so cheesy. . . .

Post Birthday Celebration

2008-05-12T16:49:00.005+08:00

Last Friday, due to the Makati Grand Parade we had to cancel our swimming because its gonna be so damn traffic and because it was also pay day for me, I can go to Bulacan early. I had to take so many rides just to get to Bulacan and just reaching the terminal was such a hassle already. (Walk, Jeep, Line up, MRT, Stand up, Walk, Wait in line, Sit sit sit) And just as I thought that would be that last ride going to Northfields, my transpo won't pass by Kenneth's village. They had to drop me off somewhere in Malolos and take the last ride going to the village. Argh! But it paid off well.

I had a great time with Kenneth and his friends. I was so tired from traveling but still I went swimming and my legs went so sore 'til the next morning :( Saturday, I got up early to see Rigel's baby but to my great dismay, we weren't going to their house pala... Then I got bored, I wanted to see the baby so bad. Before dinner, I cooked something for my guests though I really don't know who they were. The best friend of Ken's mom, Tita Rom and family arrived. I kept on making new friends that night :D and yay! They liked my pasta.

It was all chow and booze that night, its not only the pasta they liked, also the potato and mushroom I prepared as our pulutan. I was gaining so much points from the elders and the guys that night! My heart was smiling! The next day was Mother's Day but I wasn't with my mom, too much bad vibes just like any other day.

And again, it was time to go home. Another week of work, chores and so much pain :|

I already miss being around the people who knows how to appreciate every bit of me.

♥♥♥

Hey you, mother!

2008-05-12T09:58:00.002+08:00

Just because it was Mother's Day yesterday and Joni tagged me.

She's so paranoid, I can't take it.
She's so bossy, I really hate it.
She's so inconsiderate, I don't know what to do about it.
She's so shallow and spoiled, I really wanna hate it.
All they say "She's just concerned," somehow, I gotta love it.

I'm still bitter.

and it goes on

2008-05-09T14:19:00.004+08:00

"belated happy birthday" greetings from Carlo, Charles, Bevs & Aves.

Happy birthday to Aves and Mara tomorrow!

_____________________________________________

I just have to post this. Minnie, my bff in grade 1 is recording her piano pieces and this is just AMAZING!

I miss you, Incubus.

good times

2008-05-08T13:08:00.003+08:00

its my high school barkada i miss the most-est!

Sing one for me

2008-05-08T12:31:00.004+08:00

Forgive me, I might have forgotten to say how much you mean to me and how much I love you.
I love you so, Kenneth!
♥
I miss you babe

21

2008-05-07T09:10:00.020+08:00

guys, thanks for the birthday greetings and thanks for remembering :D i love you!

*advance birthday greetings, text messages, comments on multiply and friendster, personal greetings and pms on ym*

Ace: Happy birthday. Love you.

Kaycee: Happy birthday sweet! Mishu! Loveyou c: mwaah

Kuya Jib: eh pano bday m bukas hapi bday pla n advnc...

Ate Karen: Happy birthday babe.. happy beerday babe!=) love you so much..

Ehm: happy birthday!long time no see!!ahahaha..gege yngat..muztah sa pamilya mo..gege

Ate Jill: happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday, happy birthday! happy birthday to you!!! mwaaa! God bless! ; )

Ate Janett: happy birthday

Miguel Andres: Happy Birthday! :)

Juico: Happy bday eles! I love you! See u soon okay?

Mom and Ate: Happy Birthday (kiss)

Kenneth: Babe happy birthday...mahal na mahal na mahal kita baby...more bdays to come...don't be sad na ha...love you baby.

kaycee_chichay: happy birthday sweet <:-P
kaycee_chichay: hehe nag luluto c ace happy birthday din daw
kaycee_chichay: love you daw :)

chem ocampo: HaPPY BiRTHdaY ELISE!!!! :D

Joni A: happy birthdaaaaay! <:-P

Ate Christine: Happy Birthday Ate Elise! :D

bheng cruz: <:-P happy birthday :D

Ivaney: Eliseeee! Happy Birthday!
eliseeeeeee happy birthday! love you forever. kisses.hugs. yay! -gurlash

Joni, Donna, Nina, Kim, Ayen, Shieg, Sir Joel, Jules, Janice and Amy.. thank you :)

christine valmores: Happy birthday! take care dear! miss you! mwah!

Joni, super thanks again for the cake! ♥

Nina, super thanks for the chocolates!♥

Tin dela Cruz: Hi... Elise happy bday...

Kuya Myke: Happy birthday po...

Aurus Sy: happy b-day! <:-P

Jules Elgincolin: HAppy bday ule!

Donna: happy happy :) happy birthday :D

Jogses (Katy and Jona): Eles, happy happy birthday! We miss you! Burger! Burger!

elaineluna11 luna: elise!!!!
elaineluna11 luna: happy birthday

Yen: elise! haapy bday!

Thanks Deej!

Bianca: Elise. hapi bdai. Mis na kta! love you

Ione: Eles, before this days ends, ima greet you a very happy birthday. I love you so. :-)

Kim: Hapi bday!

Kathrine Favis: hi marianne! happy happy birthday! godbless! Ü

Ysa: happy birthday ate elise :-* love ya

Tam:

Mishi: happy birthday!

Allison: couz...happy...happy...happy...birthday!!!!

Camille: i miss you like crazy!! demmit! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i love you superr! :)

Cai: happy birthday!!! :D

Diane: elow there! happy birthday! ^_^ [tc and GB]

chiajarra: happy birthday elise! -chiajarra

Rose: Hi mariane! Belated hapy birthday!

Ness, Igue and Carlo: Elise! Sorry kala ko sa 13 pa bday. belated happy 21st bday! adult ka na din! :) -frm ness, carlo n igue.

Paolo Mendoza: Ate belated hapi bday. Ingat plgi. God bless u! Hehe!

Patrick Molino: happy birthday you!!!!

this what happens

2008-05-06T14:49:00.004+08:00

after having so much fun.. :[

Friday and Saturday were great. Everyone had a great time during ate Karen's party and Ken and I enjoyed the company of my officemates in Batangas during our office outing.

Sunday came and we all had to go home.

Kenneth and I already missed the baptism of his godson so we decided to join all his fellow godparents, their family and friends, etc. When we were about to go home, Ken and his bestfriends got a little rough, played in the grass then there.. Blood started to flow out of Kenneth's right foot.

He unintentionally stepped on a broken bottle of gin (which also destroyed his slippers) and nearly destroyed my sanity :[

We couldn't get any ride out of the village we had no choice but to walk out with his bleeding wounded foot and rush to the hospital.

The doctor stitched him up and I just can't explain how so much pain he had to take.

I just wish I'm still there with him until he gets better. Thanks a lot to those concerned :]

:[

2008-05-06T13:25:00.005+08:00

In less than 12 hours, I'll be turning 21 and I don't feel so good about it.

I don't know why.
I don't feel like doing anything.
I don't feel like celebrating at all.

Not so happy on my birthday

its time to PARTEY!

2008-05-02T17:37:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to my angel Ate Karen!
I lalalalove you forever!
Thanks thanks thanks so much ♥

I Nearly Moved On

2008-05-02T11:40:00.001+08:00

I thought I was over it, I was doing great. It didn’t enter my mind for quite some time and I kinda got it out of my system already. And there again, I’m in shock and tears started to flood in my eyes. I am going to be a Tita, and my brother’s gonna be a dad.

Everything flashed back too quickly. My chance of having a baby is now gone. Enough said. If I still have my baby right now, there’s a big possibility that Kaycee and I will give birth at the same time. And I can see Ace and Kenneth so happy and excited about their child as well. Two excited dads. Our kids will be best friends and playmates too.

I’m so jealous right about now but I’m really happy that they are blessed. I hope everything will be alright. I’m so excited to be a tita! And this I am sure about, it is really a good thing to have a baby. My brother’s soon to be in-laws are so happy about it and they’re all so great now. No more running away, no more hiding, no more fights and no more bad vibes.

Tito Edwin: Magiging Lolo na ako!

Good Vibes

2008-04-24T15:13:00.003+08:00

this really calls for a celebration! we're two months already and i just received my first commission pay. first time evar! and later i'm going swimming - my only stress reliever in the metro.

hard work is finally making sense and i shall enjoy the fruits of my labor. :D

2 months

2008-04-23T08:59:00.004+08:00

...and a lifetime to go.

We're only turning 2 months tomorrow and it feels like we've been dating for a year already. We've gone through a lot already and pretty sure we still have a long way to go.

We're just so happy and lucky to be together. Words can't explain how happy am I.

Its like the highest high ever. Like EVAR! ♥ haha

Hell yeah, H2O!

2008-04-21T17:11:00.003+08:00

Wow, I never thought I'd be going back to swimming but I'm glad I'm back to it!

More than a month ago my mom buzzed me already about someone getting me as a personal coach in swimming and I didn't think they were serious about it. And when the time came I thought I'd be needing extra cash, I had fees prepared already and they approved with the price and schedules I gave them. So there, I'm back to swimming/training.

My swimmer, Missy, is 10 years old, she goes to St. Paul Pasig and she had been exposed to competitions, meets and trainings as well. At an early age and a beginner, she's doing good so far. Well, though I already know that she can't be compared to the old time swimmers and those who trains in their clubs, cause they are really good. I've competed with them and I have to admit I lost to some of them (to those in the same age group, of course).

I also know for a fact that never again I am gonna compete for swimming, gosh. I feel really old already and my reigning moments are over. As in OVER! But sill, I gotta burn these fats off and get in shape really bad.

I still want to be in good condition, just to be prepared for whatever :D I still might wanna be invited to those meets.

more faces in Legazpi

2008-04-17T15:27:00.003+08:00

Earlier, almost everyone in the office was feeling sleepy and lazy so we went out and off to the nearest Starbucks.

Months ago while on my way to my favorite place, Starbucks, I bumped into my cousin Ness and found out that her school is so near to my office. We were both surprised to see each other there given the fact that we always hang out on weekends but never talked about school or work.

Then this time, I saw Katy's eldest brother Kuya Kim and her brother in law Kuya Joel having their afternoon coffee with two other people at where else, Starbucks. Wow, its been a long time since I've seen them, like the first part of the year maybe. And its them I saw not Katy. Boo!!! But of course I said hi, though I think they don't remember me anymore which is so impossible according to Katheleen. Well I really wish they don't! Hah. Among my friends I think I was the only one that they deliberately handed packs of cigarettes more than once. If not, Katy and I used to catch them on Friday nights and offer us more booze. Its embarrassing I know but I kinda miss those times.

I really miss a lot of people, a lot of things and a whole lot of happenings. Huge sigh.

Just a fun fact, I had a crush on Kuya Kim when I was in high school, haha. Well, so as Katy's other friends "crushing" on him.

Sofitel Philippine Plaza

2008-04-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

Just recently it came to my knowledge that Sofitel Philippine Plaza is the former Westin Plaza Manila along the Manila Bay, still the same, its near the bay. My mom was one of the lucky few delegates of the Pediatrics Convention being held at PICC and was sponsored by a drug company to stay at Sofitel (which was supposedly only for the officials and higher ranking people in the Medicine-Pharmaceutical world). She had a 3-night accommodation at the hotel, and to experience the same comfort , I accompanied her during her stay.

Check-in time is 2:00 pm, we got there almost 3pm thinking that our room will be ready. We waited for more than 30minutes just to get in our room. The scene was still tolerable, there were a lot of people in the hotel since its summer (tourists and foreigners are everywhere) and its convention season - the hotel was practically fully-booked so it was jammed.

No complaints about the facilities, the place, its beautiful! The rooms are nice, very spacious and very clean. The pool area is great, very child friendly. The people are very accommodating, the staff, house-keepers and all. For a not-so accessible place, it was more than alright.

The first two nights were alright, we had a great stay. I'm sure they enjoyed their meals because Spiral is the restaurant that people everywhere talk about. On our "supposedly" 3rd night, we were about to go to sleep when the front desk calls and asks "Would you like to extend your stay?" Extend? We weren't planning to extend our 3 night stay to 4 nights. Then she says "You were only booked for 2 nights, as much as you want to extend, you can't." Woah!!! So much for the courtesy question.. We can't naman pala. Along the puzzling conversation, mom rings the marketing director of her sponsored drug company, talks to the front desk again, and it turned out our room was booked for another customer.

Hmmm. The convention ended yesterday and maybe, just maybe, Sofitel would like to send the delegates home already. When we checked-in, we confirmed the number of nights that we were gonna stay at the hotel, and it was said 3 nights.

What happened to the 3rd night? Oh yes, we were sent home. Boo!!! For a sponsored thing, it was disappointing. Very disappointing.

Bad service?
I miss the life-size Chess pieces of Westin

i'll blame it on BADLUCK

2008-04-15T13:18:00.000+08:00

"maybe i should have panicked to begin with, maybe i should have not denied it, maybe i should have been more careful. maybe i should have stopped smoking and drinking long before it came, maybe i should have been prepared even before it died. "

Maybe I already accepted the fact that its gone. There's nothing we can do to bring it back. Its bad enough to be relieved after expecting and thinking all about the hustles, problems, problems and more problems... Nothing went right after the miscarriage. At least some things went right before it happened. We knew that we were serious about it, the people that I don't think will help intently wants to help, and I thought I'd never get all that support.

Still trying to absorb it...

At least a little honesty happened, Mom found out about it and she's constantly checking out on me.

Worst weekend :(

Weak

2008-04-13T04:36:00.000+08:00

Something went wrong, caused me to have my period again and killed my baby. The doctor said, we were too stressed and my baby was unconsciously exposed to harmful chemicals which most likely caused the "bleeding".

Since I found out about my baby I've been really careful with everything, with what I eat, drink and all. And for once I had control with what I do and what not, it wasn't easy. Kenneth and I are still in shock, pretty much bummed out - big time and probably don't know how to talk with each other pa.

for the rest, I shouldn't have announced it too early.

11 April 2008; Baby Garcia-Dapon bids goodbye.

thursdays make me fall in love with tomorrow

2008-04-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

Whoot!
I la-la-la-love this day,
and I don't why I am so happy
☺

for i felt what i had not felt before

2008-04-10T01:22:00.000+08:00

Whatever it is that is happening to me, I don't like it anymore. Since the day I found out about our baby I've shed tears of puzzling emotions everyday, happy, anxious, sad, and last night was the worst of all, it was depressing. I couldn't bear that I had thoughts of not keeping my baby anymore. Shame on me! It was depressing while thinking about it, and it came to a point that I will not keep that as an option. I really felt bad for stressing out my baby too much. Kenneth loves us too much he doesn't want to loose either of us.

Right now, I know doing that is one thing that I am going to regret for the rest of my life and I believe in karma as much as I'm afraid of it. I've been skeptic long enough but now I think God wouldn't give this to us if He knows we can't handle it, though I still think we're the two unlikely people to have a kid this early. Still looking at the bright side, the Big Boss trusts us with a life, that is big. While I still can, I am involving myself into solo projects (on the sides) that leads me to earning more. I already started with my designing project and as soon as next week I am going to train my swimmer. Hopefully I'm still doing good with my current job. Right now, I am just afraid to fail and loose anything that I have.

Thank you to someone who jammed last night but still calmed me down, and to her lover who loves me too. ♥

It's hard but its all gonna be worth it. :D

And as he asked if I would come along
I started to realize
That everyday you find
Just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star he shines.

**********

That Will Not Break Us

2008-04-05T00:23:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I've been emotional and nearly cried my heart out when I knew mom would want me to move out of the house if I'm really pregnant, without her knowledge I am pregnant already. And what almost broke my heart, someone almost chickened-out. Such bad environment is not good for me and my baby. It wouldn't be that long til my mom finds out that I'm really pregnant. Good luck on hiding that growing belly!

So before things get really bad, we're gonna need to move out. ASAP.

*I wish I still live with my dad...

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again

**********

GranMa 1

2008-04-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

I'm almost done with the first part of my biggest concern. My mom already has a clue that I might be pregnant. I didn't tell her that I already know that I am pregnant, along the seriousness of our conversation I had thoughts of smiling and laughing already. I am just too happy not to smile. Surprisingly, she didn't get mad. Awed but no sign of madness. Maybe when she finds out the real results, and that will be tomorrow morning, my sister will play along. ♥

Tomorrow, its gonna be 1 granma down - 1 granma and 2 granpas to go.

So far, these are the things that I should be reminded of:
*few things I thought of/learned about.

1. No more smoking and drinking.
2. Don't skip meals. [I can eat whenever I please :D]
3. Drink milk, coffee is not allowed. Fruit juice is essential.
4. Eat fresh fruits, avoid junk food. Eat veggies.
5. Take vitamins. Never self-medicate.
6. Stretch limbs and muscles as much as possible.
7. Avoid too much sugar and too much salt.
8. Wear comfy clothes [Yey! Shopping :D]
9. Be healthy, its also for the baby.
Be wealthy, you're gonna need it.
Be wise, whatever - know what you have to do and what not.
10. Pray for a healthy baby boy or baby girl. Pray for the Dad too.

* I already thought of baby names. I'm that excited :)

Here comes the sun,
And I say, It's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to their faces
Little darling, it seems like years since its been here
here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say, It's all right

**********

We Love You Too

2008-04-03T01:18:00.000+08:00

It was April fool's when we found out about you, and this I had to take seriously. I knew in some kind of way that you're coming, I just needed a confirmation and a concrete positive result that you're already here. No kidding, you're here.

You're gonna be one lucky kid, every body likes you. Every one's excited for you. Every one wants to be a godparent. Someone wants to sing to you, someone wants to read to you, and even dance for you. Just like us, every one is happy and excited about you. Your dad is the most excited man on the planet, and I'm as lucky to have all the support.

I hope your grandparents will be happy too.

**********

SUNBURN!!!

2008-03-27T07:26:00.000+08:00

It was time to hit the road again and just when I thought I'd be hitting the beach, we hit the farms instead. Yeah, instead of staying at the beach house we stayed in a nipa hut right in the middle of all the fish ponds, swamps and did I mention farm? A place away from all the people, noise and pollution -- away.. awaaaayyy!!! It was really nice there, everything is FRESH. From air to food to water and salt (they have there a salt farm).

After a day and a half of rest, we intentionally went to the beach though it was forbidden to "have fun" on Good Friday. But the locals were all so nice to Kenneth and I. There was no people on the beach. The sea, the sun and sand were all mine. SUNBURN!!!

This vacation was a little way to spend Holy Week, spend time with Kenneth, meet his elders and celebrate our First Month together, though we left a day earlier our special day it was still a whole lot of fun for the two of us. A little sad when we had to go home already but we will definitely go back there for Daddy (Ken's Grandfather) and Uncle (Daddy's Brother).

The next time we're hitting the beach, its gonna be an All-in-ONE celebration of 1-Betty and Chem's birthday, 2-Chem's graduation, 3-My early 21st birthday celebration, 4-Advanced celebration of our Second Month together! ♥

And the next will be with my friends and more with my cousins and Kenneth.

I talked to my baby on the telephone
Long distance
I never would've guessed
I could miss someone so bad
I really only met her 'bout a week ago
But it doesn't seem to matter to my heart
I know that I love her
I'm hoping that I never recover
'Cause she's good for me
And it would really make me happy
To never let her slip away
**********

Ohh La La

2008-03-19T12:13:00.000+08:00

Few hours from now, I can say I am no longer Vaca-deprived! I love going out of town despite the tiring ride and all the hustle (motion sickness, traffic, urban heat and basta, stuff!) I am just so excited to go out of this four-cornered room and rush to the bus station and get to "paradise." I still don`t know what's out there in Pangasinan hehe. Tonta!

This will the second time I`m going out of town riding a bus. Yeah, I`m just starting to be economical, start paying for my own trips, pack my own things, no household help coming with, etc. I`m proud of myself - found out I can actually do these things, with a little help of someone so special of course. I need to do this more often. Mi likes it! Though just before this everything was so toxic. Ahhhhh!!! Death. I believe this is what they call "Life After Death" hehe.

Updates:
Friday - I went Katip to see my beloved Undins, we were only 7. Others are still lost in open water. :( I miss them! I went to Antipolo to do a transaction with Faye and Dre. TRANSACTION COMPLETE! Then I had to rush back home to get some rest. Good vibes.

Saturday - Went to Bulacan and visit Kenneth. I met his mom, and the people at their home are just so nice though they are things that aren't acceptable and had an effect on me. Sheeesh. But no harm done. I hate the feeling when I had to go back to Manila. Now Kenneth knows how I feel each time he goes home. Boo-hoo. Went straight to the Building where my cousins at. I had no drink that night! Yey :) Good vibes.

Sunday - Hung out with my cousins some more and a little bad shot from the elders. But still, good vibes :D

I`m keeping the good vibes. ♥♥♥

I'm on a high, on a high
there's nothing more to it.
we are the sea and the sky
and the blue that runs through it, yeah.
YEAH!
**********

Its HOT when I say its HAWT

2008-03-14T00:53:00.000+08:00

Everything looks so hot, feels so hot, smells so hot, sounds so hot and tastes so HOT? haha

Yeah cause my season is here - hello summer!

Boo you summer school! I hate you and I don't want you. Whatever, you still suck and I'll drink to that.

I was on the verge of tripping again last night but unexpectedly things got a little muddled and I ended up getting yelled at. Wrong choice of words and I was even the calm one, him - hot headed. Talk about HOT... I had to stay calm for the whole night 'til the break of dawn.

I know it already, this is how its going to be in the long run, very long run. Each time one explodes the other has to stay quiet just to keep the balance and neutrality of the situation - though it's not meant to be neutral. Or is it? At one point, we wish and search for either someone who makes us happy or someone better for us, then eventually we have both at once.

I am lost for words

♥♥

Cause I know a place where the sun is always shining
And I won't forget the face
The one that's gonna keep me smiling
You're like candy in the sun
You're my angel on the run
You're like candy in the sun
Hey hey hey

**********

Bummer x 3

2008-03-12T00:25:00.000+08:00

This I could not understand. There is a nationwide transport strike going on right now, which means less vehicles and wider roads. But still, it is so traffic :(

We left the house at 7:30am and dropped off my sister and my mom at the Fort. And on my way to my office the roads are already cramped up! Waah! I hate it so much! I shouldn't have drove in the first place. I don't know if it was my fault but there's a 14" deep scratch on the hood of the car almost near the headlights. I didn't notice if it was already there or not.

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

**********

HIGH!

2008-03-11T03:21:00.000+08:00

Sugar high! haha. Thanks to oodles and oodles of chocolates, this will last me 'til tomorrow.

I missed my Katy's surprise birthday celebration this weekend :( She just turned 21 yesterday, and Joan will be 21 next month and I'm next! Waaah! Where will I be? I don't even know if I'm gonna turn 21 here or not. Bummer.

But I'm still sugar high!

My weekend was supposedly a normal (but sad) weekend without Ken, cause he said "dapat masanay tayo hindi lagi magkasama" and I really thought we weren't gonna see each other. Then all of a sudden he showed up at my cousin's place at 1 in the morning. Waah! So happy :D Then there we planned about introducing him to my mom - on or before her birthday we'll have dinner or lunch out with them. I'm excited! A little nervous too.

I'm excited for holy week too, I'm going to Pangasinan - his dad's place there. I really can't wait! And shocking, Ken's dad still remembers me from way before, when we were still kids. Haha! I bet he remembers cause he would never forget my dad. I miss my daddy!

it wastes time
and i'd rather be high
think i'll walk me outside
and buy a rainbow smile
but be free
they're all free

**********

Kill Me Now

2008-03-08T01:52:00.000+08:00

Later last month my mom broke the news about us leaving the country again, our visas will be released soon, like April? Wow mother, just kill me now. Also last year she said the same thing about us leaving already, by 3 months, 6 months, and a year passed - I'm still here! Will we still leave the country?!

Hey mom, that's good news for you, you can start your new career. As for me I really don't know what's out there for me, aside from school (which I still don't know if I would wanna study there). She just said be prepared well I'm always prepared ever since you told me about it a year ago. I don't want to hold things back just because of my personal issues, like friends, family and the boyfriend.

Looking at the bright side, I can see my friends there, hopefully finish a short course on whatever (and how I wish, a job so I can go back here soon enough), and love the beaches of Florida. And the downside, there is just so much I don't wanna mention it anymore cause that's just gonna pull me back, I'm supposed to be attracting the positive vibes. Though I still think it will not be next month, well whatever happens happens, just to get over with it.

This has been bugging me for nights and days already leaving me too dazed and sleepless but I still have focus. Focus right there, here.

And this I just got to spill! Please kill me right about now, since its almost summer and there are long weekends and holidays, it's out of control that in some way I am going away with more people from my dad's side and his second family. This is the situation I could not avoid, I still don't know how will I react upon meeting them - just to be cool with things, let's do it already. I'm not bitter anyway, knowing I have two little siblings and my mom has a boyfriend already and met his kids. I don't expect them to be back together, hell no, it just needs to be casual. Yes my mom allows me to stay over at my dad's place but still she is somehow bitter. Stop the bitterness already cause I know you need some papers to be signed by my dad, and when you're really in need, you will come around.

Let's all be happy, shall we.

Time has a way of healing, so they say
So why am I still left here cryin'
Caught in these ways of emotion as people stare
I find there's no real place for me to hide
Well I've been trying in vain

**********

Can't Help but Wait

2008-03-06T08:37:00.000+08:00

I may sound too excited but I just really want my folks and sibs to meet Ken. They know him as one of my childhood friends/acquaintances but not as my boyfriend. And they don't even have a clue I'm with him already. I'm not nervous about my dad, cause for sure he's gonna like him. Our dads used to drink a lot back then and he likes musicians. Yey, plus points for Ken. He's gonna be the first guy that I'm gonna introduce to my dad as my boyfriend. I'm not nervous about my sister too, judgmental but cool. She's cool with anyone. And she likes my Ken's music, aha. :D A little nervous about my bro though. He met Ken already and had few drinks with him not so long ago and he's alright with him until I told him that I'm dating him. Oops, there he goes again - hating every guy that I date. Oh brother! He loathes every guy when it comes to me, but as an individual, he's alright with it.

And my mom. Please kill me now. She's really hard to impress, more like my brother, dining out is required. So much preparations, but I am willing to prepare that much just for her to be okay with Ken. She may not show how much she hates someone but the things going on at the back of her head, yeah just kill me now.. Only guys she would approve are those gay-full kids of her friends, most of the time, nada.

I'm not seeking for their approval or anyone's, I just want them to know him and eventually welcome him to our family and little circles. Yes, I'm dead serious about him.

This is the thing with separated parents, you can't meet them all at the same time. I haven't met his folks either but they heard about me already. He mentions me to his mom for so many times but she forgets and asks "Sino si Elise?" and Ken would repeatedly answer back, "Girlfriend ko nga." Then in one phone conversation, his mom talked to his dad and said "Si Kenneth may nililigawan na Garcia."

Ken: Hindi ko siya nililigawan, girlfriend ko na nga siya.

For now, I just can't wait for the weekend, long weekends and holidays! :D Can't wait to be with him again! ♥

Baby, these butterflies they never lie
Been through so much pain before
Baby I had to try
'Cause you're not like most guys
And I ain't ashamed to say that
You're my baby

**********

This is it Shiznit

2008-03-03T09:45:00.000+08:00

So much love :) It has to be you, always and forever.

If you just realize
What I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
**********

Creep Creep Creep

2008-03-01T02:20:00.000+08:00

Good byes are said to be permanent, right? I hate it. I’m the person who isn’t good at it and would just end up crying but it doesn’t stop there. Really bad. Next time someone says good bye again, I’ll try not to cry. But if I do, I’ll just shut the F up. I should have known, if it’s going to complicate things like how things are so complicated right now, I shouldn’t have invested any emotions for another and not speak too soon. If there is one thing that life forbids, it is: loving two people at the same time, at the same degree.

I only need one, but I want to keep both. Creep.

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing

**********

First Time Feels Like This

2008-02-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

My whole life, this is the first time I received flowers from a very unexpected person. And his reason? I wish I knew.

I received the flowers first before I found that the first time I met him was when we were really young, about 8 years old or less. My family and his family knew each other back then cause they were related in a very puzzling way, he's a cousin of my cousin's cousin.

From what I can remember, we were together in a big beach hut and there was an earthquake and I only know him by name. I can't even remember how he looked like.

From what he remembers, our family visited them in Batangas and we stayed in a big beach hut, then there was an earthquake and a storm the next day. He remembered me as the "bulol kid" who can't pronounce a word something like "tanzans" and according to him I said it as "tanzanthh." (Yeah, that was me. I can't pronounce S before I had my braces on. ) Ikaw pala 'yon!

That was the first time, then after more than a decade, I see him again. We were even introduced as if we were strangers and all of us just realized, we met each long long time ago. :">

And for the Nth time, thanks for the flowers.

Today when I saw you
I knew it was just like the first time
When you met my eyes I came close
And I felt like the first time

**********

Un/Wanted: Travel Buddy

2008-02-13T15:46:00.000+08:00

I was already thinking and planning this days before and I really need to get away and not do business or anything work related. I need to get away and do some re-thinking and soul searching, give my restless mind and heart a break and a whole lot more. Yeah, I've thought of traveling by myself and go where big waves could take the pain away. Ha! Drama. Anywhere with or without someone as long as I'm away.

If ever my Baguio trip this weekend will do me good, good for me that I don't have to spend again and go to another place during the (hopefully) long weekend. I was thinking of Zambales or La Union and it wouldn't cost me that much since I'm traveling via commute. I have no activities planned out yet aside from surfing cause that's definitely a must do or whatev, do what I have to do.

And just to let my friends and family know, I am not gonna have myself killed alright and if anyone would want to join my soul searching (or just to make sure I'll be fine), you're very much welcome to hop in and no need to spend a single cent. It's on me, but if you wanna pay for something, go ahead. Going away once in a while is definitely a rip-off but what the hell, I need some adventure.

I don't wanna die tonight, but I think I might be going down.
’Coz the only one I ever cared about is nowhere to be found.
I don’t wanna close my eyes, ‘coz I might not see the light of day.
I'm almost out of air you’re my reason for breathing.

**********

You're already the Voice Inside My Head

2008-02-13T09:22:00.000+08:00

It was really embarrassing when a friend fell asleep on the phone while I was on the other line. I must be really boring. Haha and we both know we're caught up with the past so we can never be bitter enough to talk about it. It sucks, right.

In one of our conversations, he asked: Would you go for the one that you're destined for or the one you like?

I was really proud to say that I would go for the one I like cause I want something (or someone) that I really worked for, and I would be scared to lose that. I don't like living things to FATE and to just go with the flow or wherever the waves will take me. Sometimes it's alright to go with the flow and let down our guards, as long as the moment is right but whatever comes my way, I'll take it. I'll take it the way I want it. I'll even go out of my way if I have to.

Haha, I must be growing up :D

So I asked him the same, as usual, the famous line Bahala na. I will always give her a chance and its her choice to take it and make it big. I can never tell her "don't expect" cause what is the point in giving her a chance then turning her down at the same time. Pangit yun. No one has the right to tell that to anyone. No one. But if ever she comes back to me, I don't need any explanation from her, I'll just accept her with open arms and hug her. No questions asked. Hindi ko na siya papahirapan. I did everything already to win her back and she didn't respond, I'll leave it that way. I did my part already, enough na yon. Bahala na siya.

Well what can I say I like the way he thinks, he started with Bahala na and ended it with Bahala na. Tsk tsk, men...
No offense though. ☺

Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
Something I can't change
I'll live around it

**********

Deprived

2008-02-12T09:43:00.000+08:00

I seriously think I am vaca-deprived and its been a while since I enjoyed summer the way I really want it. Summer is on its way once again and since oh-six, I've spent my summers in a 20-meter 5-foot deep rectangular pool (or sometimes the circular 3-foot baby pool) for more than about 12 hours a day, 6 days a week - teaching kids and getting baked under the sun.

It would be a lot better if I had to be baked under the sun while on the beach and not be bothered with kids that nearly drowns and yells "teacher, teacher!" Right about now, I can still remember the stress clear in my head. I need to be away from everything, at the moment.

When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years.

**********

I'm not the Best Master

2008-02-11T14:06:00.000+08:00

The moment I arrived home Saturday morning, sad to say, but my Coco boy is need of a bitch. A female dog that is. Coco is only about 9 months old and it really freaked me out when I saw him HARD. :( Oooh, down boy! Now I don't know what to do, I'm not even sure if he is all ready to "mate" with a female dog. So I took him out for a walk and he was looking/sniffing around for the neighbor's shih tzu bitch. Gosh. I am too strict of a master to let him go out by himself, and I would just keep him within the boundaries of our house and watch him scare the hell out of the stray cats my neighbor's are feeding. yuck. I'm not yet ready for more puppies. Waah!

My baby is now a big boy/dog.

**********

Lonely is the Night when I'm not with you

2008-01-31T13:24:00.000+08:00

Right about now I am really starting to feel really REALLY lonely, and SAD. Pffft!

So I wake up every morning and not looking forward for anything that would excite me. I'm so effin' bored to death! I don't know if I'm still being productive but I'm guessing I'm not. Loser.

Anyhoo, I have to start a new habit and NEVER be late again. I abused my privilege and there is no more time to lose. From this day onwards, I am gonna do good.

Bottom line is, I am feeling so LONELY.. I wanna fly!

Every one seems to be excited for Valentine's day or what I call SINGLES' AWARENESS DAY. Every one except me, haha bitter?! Naw, just a li'l jealous. Practically, everyday we talk but its like OUCH! Talk about your girl some more, or don't talk to me, or talk about guy things or I don't know. It kills me a little inside. Well this could be the excitement/ challenge I'm looking for. So wrong. Tsk tsk.

Don't ever regret the things that made you smile.
**********

Nothing's Ever Promised Tomorrow Today

2008-01-28T16:43:00.000+08:00

I am missing so many people right about now and some of the things I usually do.

I really miss my teammates, Chem and Betty's birthday are coming up and I hope I see them in whatever way God could think of. I miss Miguel and Keziah and "extended family". Especially Teacher Toti. I so wanna go back swimming.

I miss everyone.. Kathy, Juico, Faye, Yen and Trish. And I miss them so BAD. I kinda miss Renz and my Ace. I miss drawing and painting too!

I'm in a very sad, lazy and sentimental mode. I am human. Lonely human being.

Something happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Something happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had
And oh after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around
Oh oh oh after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love thats lost be found

**********

Lock and Drop

2008-01-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

I am really trying to avoid this kind of situation/relationship but still inevitable. Could it be I am really made for this? I don't wanna give any meaning to this aside from mere friendship and for the sake of hanging out and partying. I am still trying and struggling to STRAIGHTen things up but along the way I BEND and FOLD. STRUGGLING, yes I am having a hard time getting over the "situation" and so I go back to being what I used to be. I so don't wanna get there and still I continue to force myself to go into a more acceptable situation.

I'm not saying I will be bothered to what others think but I am bothered by the fact it has to end one way or another.

Girl if I told you I love you
that doesn't mean that I don't care.
And when I tell you I need you
don't you think that I'll never be there.
Baby I'm so tired of the way you turn my words into
Deception and lies
Don't misunderstand me when I try to speak my mind
I'm only saying what's in my heart
**********

I'm bad at dealing with Broken Hearts

2008-01-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

lino: should have just been himself, if she cant accept him for the way he is, than it was never meant to be.

ka: hay bwisit na love talaga yan

I really don't know what to do to this dear friend of mine. He's a mess. We're not even talking. He can't even function. Tsk tsk, bad female specie breaking his blood-pumping muscle. I'm supposed to be comforting and consoling and supporting him but I ran out of words to say, of course he wouldn't want another person to tell him lies since he already heard a lot of it from someone. Alcohol just wouldn't do it. And I can't even go anywhere right about now. Thanks to the people I had a chat with and still chatting to some. *Hug! I have to be awake for him. Haha kid-oh.

elise: i get over things too quick
elise: i had to learn things the hard way still, it was easier accepting it the way it is
elise: no choice

**********

Boom Boom Baby

2008-01-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

Due to your insisting personal demand, fine, I'm gonna write something for you.

Our dads would always sing to us when we were young, and we really liked Drive.

(Who's gonna tell you when its too late?
Who's gonna tell things aren't so great?
You can't go on, thinking nothing's wrong.
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?)

Were they asking? Haha, now I know my answer for those so-called "questions." But of course, that who is you. Wenk!

I have this clear memory of you when we picked you up in school you were crying because you said you were bullied but the truth is, your maid forgot to give you your lunch and you had this long test in Math that you were so afraid that you might not get it perfect cause you couldn't think of hunger. You only stopped crying when I gave you the toy from my Happy Meal (which I think is a girl toy and I can't remember what toy that was) but you mumbled and said that you were still hungry. I didn't know what to do back then. But now, if such crying happens again for some reason, I already know what to do.

It's really nice that we're back in contact.

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

**********

It's Friday I'm in LOVE

2008-01-25T09:11:00.000+08:00

I don't care if Monday's blue, Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too. Thursday I don't care about you. It's Friday I'm in love! :D

The way you make me feel, it really turns me on. You knock me off my feet, my lonely days are gone ♥

Boom you're the best! Thanks thanks

There's a room when the light won't find you
Holding hands while walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind you
So glad we almost made it
So sad they had to fade it

**********

Writer's Block

2008-01-22T12:54:00.000+08:00

Oh gawd I can't even come up with an entry and yet, there are a lot of thing going through my head. Pfffft!

First of all, there are so much disappointments happening.

I really don't like how my brother is acting towards the situation there in. They keep on insisting they can handle things by themselves but right now why are they so worried that no one's replying to their messages? Now they fear that nobody's supporting them. Ha.

And just when I thought everything is falling into place, it falls apart. There are still a lot of cowards and pretenders in this society and too bad they are multiplying as my world gets smaller - the downside of seeking abrupt "change". I am so not wishing to bump into you anymore.

I greet the morning sky
The sun dries tears in my eyes
Awaken this sleeping heart of mine
And be here now...
Awaken this heart.

**********

Beautiful Sadness

2008-01-11T16:49:00.000+08:00

(grabbed from Jelly)

In one episode of SouthPark, Stan found his friend Butters who just had his heart broken sitting on a rain soaked curb, in tears.

Butters: Uh, well, yeah.. I'm sad but at the same time I'm really happy that something like this could make me feel sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is beautiful sadness..

Best defines what I felt.

**********

Hey Jealousy

2008-01-07T13:44:00.000+08:00

I know its really weird that I'm jealous of my cousin dating someone. Seriously, I just don't like the thought of it - not that I want him to be single for the rest of his life or anything, but please.. Ack! Can't really explain it. So here it goes, cousins went out this weekend to be with this uber shy introverted girl that might be afraid of people? Huh? Not really human, or is she just super duper shy?! Anyway, I can't be with them cause yeah, she's shy.

I'm not jealous, I just don't want to be left out ALONE AT HOME DOING NOTHING!!! Or am I? I hope it was WORTH IT to be with her and her very anti-social mood.. Creep.

And here we go again
With all the things we said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back

**********

Remember this Night

2008-01-05T18:46:00.000+08:00

Dammit! Remember this night I'm frowning on you.. Bad trip! Really bored as hell. Must.Get.Out.Of.The.House... I'm dying.

**********

One of the Boys

2008-01-03T10:49:00.000+08:00

Flashback - When I was 8 and Charles (cousin's cousin), Carlo (cousin) and Ace (brother) were younger and when they were still little boys, every time our families would gather out of town or just any other gathering, we'd go to a room with a king size bed and wrestle. Damned these boys, they would go against one girl and lose. Ha. But after those games I would weep in pain cause one of them or maybe all of them had kicked me in the gut, bit me or bruised me.

Few years after til present, I was thankful cause all of us own a game console where we can beat each other's asses. And of course I would lose most of the time. We grew out of these competitiveness and would enjoy everyone's company. Company, meaning the booze, party and all. Funny how I find myself keeping up with them. Haha.

Just few day's before, Carlo and I were hanging out when he decided to play ball. I got bored and joined him. Then I suddenly realized I was playing with two boys (Paolo the other one). Err, my legs are still chafed from the running and jumping. But what the hell, it was fun! Bad way to start the year, huh? Play ball.. Anyway, I really like their company. Specially Bash :D

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

**********

The HAPPY Way

2008-01-02T09:43:00.000+08:00

I attended the Garcia Reunion and really glad I did. Somewhere in between I was nearly hoping again and "needed closure" but thanks to bash I truly know what's up. Relieved. The singing and drinking helped out a lot too. A lot a lot!

Spent New Year's eve at the building with my cousins and really happy to be there with them. First time bash shared something so serious, hmmm. Loved the celebration. Loved the fireworks. Loved kuya Jojo's camera. Loved the Bash tandem. Loved my cousins and extended family (Castillo side). Loved the color coding. Loved the singing and the drinking, again. Loved the not-so fair basketball game with Bash and Paolo, and the afternoon drinking of Renz. And my legs hurt. Pffft.

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

**********

Doing Great

2007-12-26T18:01:00.000+08:00

The "in your face" factor had led me to my greatness. Indeed, I saw the "I like her more.. I'm picking her over you.. Oh, I'm serious with her alright.. " happening which I had been expecting already. I wasn't so surprised when I found out. Few nights before that I thought to myself that something close to a relationship will never happen to us. I was right to anticipate these kinds of possibilities, I was right to anticipate the letting go on his part, and I was right to anticipate I did scare him away. But no biggie, wasn't that serious anyway. I conditioned myself already that I would be playing along with him and turned out he was just really playing. To top it all, there's nothing I can do but accept this fact, I would want to continue the game but its too late if the other one discontinued playing. No winner, no loser - DEFAULT! Game Over! The other player had started another game, more serious game.

I'm still thankful we ended up being friends, sort of. Quoting from my previous post, "I can go on by myself if I choose to" and if they can go on without me why shouldn't I? Still doing great, after all.

I know I'm just really happy with what I've got. I will keep it that way.

The way you look at me
The way you touch me
The fire in your eyes
Makes me sweat makes me shiver inside
There's nothing I can do about it
'Cause nothing seems so true
When I'm beside you
And my dream
Of all thing just hold my hand
Naked, perfect, so beautiful
You turn me up and down
I was spinning round and round
You never get enough, baby you don't
You're a shining star

**********

Holiday Bliss

2007-12-21T18:47:00.000+08:00

For a change, I'm beginning to like Christmas again. I thought I'm gonna like the holidays just as I used to like it when I was a kid. I thought everything was going well already--dad back in the Phil, new start, new and more friends, good bond with extended family and so on. I thought I'm gonna make a change, be happy and satisfied. But no, one wrong move had messed everything up. One move that I knew that should have never happened. If there is one thing I'd want for Christmas, that would be taking away the pain I had inflicted on many people. I'm really sorry, and I'm pretty much bummed with what I did. I also thought all this drama would end cause I'm starting anew, I guess life just really have ways getting back at me.

I'm quite disappointed about myself and the decisions I've made looking back since the start of 2007. But seriously, I don't regret the things I've done. Some bad nights had brought me good mornings and I'm still thankful for that. Since there is nothing I can do to change those, there is also no point for me fretting and wallowing over it. Coming from a real drunkard, "drunken nights wouldn't change anything, but it was fun, and one of the best" - fun that we're all looking for. The temporary happiness that could only bring me laughter but not the genuine smile or happiness that's gonna stay with me forever.

Hearsays and the actual happenings are beginning to contradict the happenings in between us. They tell me this, you show me that - confusing that I don't know who to believe. I've let things happened for so many reasons, I left everything up to chance and fate and I relied on it for some time already. I should say its not worth trusting. There is no one and nothing that I could trust but myself alone. I was happy for more than a time even if I'm by myself and I could still go on if I choose to. Getting drunk once over someone is enough. Who ever said alcohol can't cure matters of the heart? Or shall I say, matters of the mind? Well sometimes it does, and I'm thankful it did me good. Good enough to forget the bitter and anticipate the sweet ones. I've kept my expectations low and I'm sticking to the earth. After all, this is not heaven.

While I was being Mr. Brightside, keeping things in proportion and really optimistic, I realize that somehow I'm just flattering myself. This ain't over, and I'm still wishing for the good mornings to bid "Hello, sunshine."

Right now, I feel like a real LOSER, but this is not the end. I am so gonna fight and pop that bubble of... I am so getting ready for this game and I am sticking it up, all for me baby. Ha.

**********

This Way, Loser.

2007-12-18T20:58:00.000+08:00

I have so much love to give that loving only one person is not enough. -Haha, joke! :D

It sucks to be sick, love-sick though. Joane, thank you for spreading the love bug. Haha. Maybe I'm sick in the head. Or in the heart.

Partly true that I have so much love to give, in fact, I'm the biggest sucker for love. Yeah, I'm a sucker for love, I'm a sucker for hugs, I'm a sucker for kisses, I'm a sucker for affection, and I'm a sucker for you. Fessing up to you could be the bravest thing that I could've done, that is, fessing up without damn assurance or guarantee since we are both unsure about this game and you've kept silent the whole time. It's important for you to know I'm choosing you over the past, I've risked too much already and there's no turning back. Too late for that. Even in playing games we have to be careful, we don't want any injuries, do we? Win or lose I know I gave my best and my whole to win but that would make you the Loser, then again I wouldn't want that. Again, I'll play by your rules. I only get what you give. I wanna know you even better. I'm sober. I'm your Loser. (:

"I can't fall asleep"
"I'll stay up with you"

No one can get in the way of I'm feeling
No one can get in the way I feel for you...

**********

Must.Read. II

2007-12-14T15:54:00.000+08:00

*Don't spend a lifetime loving a person if you have no plans to tell how you feel. It's SELFISH.

*If you're gonna shine, make sure you blind the world.

*To love without expecting anything in return frees you to love with purity of heart, mind and soul. You should not be distracted by selfish motives or be disappointed by insensitivity.

*Remember that your freedom is to love, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

*When you're stuck loving someone, no matter how hard you try to forget that person, it's just not enough. Sometimes all we can do is stay away and it does help a bit, but just for a while. Cause when that person shows you even the smallest gesture of affection, all your efforts of moving on goes down the drain. And you're left alone again with nothing else to say but, "Damn, I just fell for that again."

*You can try your hardest, you can do and say everything. But sometimes people just aren't worth trying over anymore. They aren't worth worrying about. It's important to know when to let go of someone who only brings you down.

*The day that man allows true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true.

*Take care of the one you love. If you don't, someone else will.

**********

Must.Read.

2007-12-12T09:27:00.001+08:00

What’s done is done
And we’ve crossed the line
Your indecision is taking over every time
Your pride, my anger
Our situation is worse than ever
We’ve taken this too far
We’ve had our run
With your arms wrapped tight
around my neck
Close my eyes I sink and grasp for breath
She’s with someone new.

All hope is gone
And since you’re never gonna change
I’ll erase your taste and let you go slowly
Suddenly I wasn’t enough
Your lust disguised as love.

You’re pushing me too far
We’ve had our run
With your arms wrapped tight
around my neck
Close my eyes I sink and grasp for breath.

She’s with someone new.

This whole time with me
Was just another lie
Threw my feelings up and down
You’re just a little inconsiderate

**********

Overwhelmed

2007-12-10T15:35:00.001+08:00

I may be once again overwhelmed with all things happening.

I must admit I was sad with what happened not more than a month ago and I my hopes were up, confident enough that I would have him back. Things changed and everything is not going the way it should be. Well, how should it go anyway?

(Crabby)
New people and newly met friends excites me, though it contributes only temporary happiness and I can not conclude about decisions and things that are not yet happening. I expected the worst but good things are happening and the better is yet to come, as I am constantly hoping and praying for that to happen. Crabby, you make me smile but not enough to make me happy; I’ll play by your rules. I only get what you can give and I shall not expect anything nor ask anything from you. But if you must ask what I want, I want you to stay. “You make me smile, please stay for a while.” I might want to keep you. You are more than the person I think you are. I’m glad that you decided to set your life straight and honestly that is making me really happy. But I'm pretty sure you staying here will ruin everything. I'll see you when I get there. [“This is for you.”-Crabby, The song The Way I Are plays] I miss you now.

(Shoti)
They say the one you truly love will always come back to you. And she did, love led you back into each others arms. As much as I hate to see you go and be with the love of your life, I’ll hate myself for not supporting and backing you up to your happiness. For ages, I’ve been getting my strength from you and you leaving is a heart break, must I say. We may have pointless arguments and endless taunting that drew us apart but the love from a sibling and seek for guidance, support and knowledge will bring us back together, for sure. You’ve waited years for this to happen, and it’s all happening for you brother. For you and Kaycee. I fervently wish that distance wouldn’t be a factor that would cause our misunderstandings and miscommunication in the future. You are still, after all, my baby brother. I am going to miss you.

(Daddy)
Once again, you are fading away. I wouldn’t dare ask why so no explanations and reasons and excuses shall come out from your mouth. You’ve been away for a long long time and a little presence of you is very much needed now. I appreciate everything you do but please don’t draw your self away from your legitimate son and daughters. You were wealthy enough to have two families, make some effort not missing out on us. I miss you already.

This is not a story, this is not a book
This is your life
And this is not a play, some TV show you've seen
This is real life, you know that
This is your, this is your life.

**********

For Crabby

2007-12-10T04:02:00.000+08:00

I don't care what people say
As long as you and me okay
Because I never been in love before
See I use to be a player and
All of this is new to me
And this ain't what I'm used to see
Because I never been in love before
-Never Been In Love, Taleb Kweli

...
lino: ha me 2
lino: i just went to the kitchen... and there was a crab alive hahaha
lino: scared the shit out of me
lino: walking around
elise: haha i can imagine
lino: trying to pinch me
elise: that's cute
lino: naw not really...
lino: more like vicious
elise: aww hehe
elise: im not talking about the crab duh
lino: oh reallly
...

(Pointless. ha!)
**********

Long Weekend It is

2007-12-03T14:56:00.000+08:00

Threatened by the implemented curfew 12midnight to 5am for Friday, packed my clothes for Thursday night's gathering and went straight to Kaycee's place.

My brother Ace, Kaycee, Ate Karen, Kuya Jib, Charles and Renz were already there, drunk by 5pm. I arrived around 9pm and waited for them to be sober enough for another drink and I wasn’t even expecting it to be a depressing night finding out that Kaycee’s going back to Davao by Monday morning. It was really sad; all we gotta do is to make here stay even more memorable and fun. So much fun we almost got into trouble. Yikes! But we were all good. We ended the night with so many embarrassing dares – courtesy of them all. It was really embarrassing for me and Renz. Haha.

Friday around lunch time, we woke up and we were all hungry already. We fixed up the condo a little and rested just right before another session starts. But before that, Renzy was too high and he ended up so pissed and depressed then he took off. I couldn’t understand him. Before getting really drunk again, I went to Kathy’s for our K-TV gathering and of course, booze. When I arrived, Kathy, Jona, Joane, Pipa, Miel, Duard and Trish were already there having dinner. After dinner, I drove with Kathy and Joane to the supermarket to get drinks-and the bartender for the night, it’s me again. Sorry for scratching your car Joane. Hehe. We bought 4 big bottles of Red Horse, boxes of Extra Joss and chips. Some time around the drinking and singing, Pipa and Miel left, Toni and Bianca arrived and we had to buy another batch of drinks, Kathy and Jona bought 2 bottles I think. 6 bottles down already. We weren’t drunk yet so Kathy, Bianca and I went out to get 2 more bottles of Red Horse. In between finishing the 7^th(?) bottle I had to go back to the condo cause my cousin Ness and Igue arrived already. Again, there were so many drinks, the condo turned into a club and Igue showed and taught us his goofy dance step, just in time for Carlo to arrive. Around 5 am, we were all tired and not so drunk but we slept anyway when Carlo, Ness and Igue left.

Saturday morning, Ate Karen left to go to work and Kuya Jib and Charles cooked our truly yummy lunch. We got the whole day to rest and chill again, but the news broke that Charles will go with Kaycee to Davao and when he gets back from Davao he’s off to the States. We were happy for Charles because he’s gonna see his girlfriend in Davao but it was really sad because he’s gonna go to the US, that made him so upset. That made everyone really upset. Renz is leaving sooner than expected, left us all bummed out, especially me. Charles and Kaycee had somewhere to go to so Kuya Jib, Ace and I were left in the Condo. I slept while these two were drinking again and making up dances for the night’s last possible get together.

Our last night together, we were complete, Kuya Jib, Ace, Kaycee, Charles, Ate Karen, Renz, Igue, Ness and Carlo were all there. Words aren’t enough to describe what happened that night, but we all made sure everyone’s gonna have so much fun and we all did. SO MUCH FUN in fact.

Sunday, almost everyone left leaving Kuya Jib, Charles, Ate Karen and I behind. Charles and I went ahead around 9pm, he needs to fix his things. When I arrived home, it was just too sad. That could be our last night altogether. I hope its not. Its just really sad when people have to go away.

Last night,
I couldn't even get an answer.
Tried to call,
but my pride wouldn't let me dial.
And I'm sitting here,
with this blank expression.
And the way I feel,
I wanna curl up like a child.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
Oh take me back to the start.

**********

Long Weekend

2007-11-29T17:01:00.000+08:00

Its gonna be another long weekend and I'm bored but I'm planning not to go out unless its.. Hmm, unless I change my mind I guess :D its been a "sabaw" and super cold day for me. And another, there's a coup going on, scary. Soldiers invaded Makati Peninsula and since I don't listen to the news, I don't know what's gonna happen next.

I miss you so much. Pffft!

**********

Ness's Partey and More

2007-11-26T16:13:00.000+08:00

Another night at the Building, there's no other name to call it so it stays as The Building. Another night spent with family, Ace, Carlo, Kaycee, Karen, Renz, Charles, and Ness was with us too but she was really busy entertaining her guests. To start up the night, we ate - I was expecting shawarma but there wasn't any! And drank too - two bottles of Jose Cuervo and I remember I finished barely a bottle of Red Horse and I can't even explain how I got drunk in the first place. Errr.

I borrowed Charles' phone to call someone and I'm just so glad we talked, though I'm drunk and there are casualties of throwing up and crying! Oh how embarrassing. I didn't know they were all looking for me when I went up to the roof top and made my phone call. I was surprised when they all, mentioned above, came up to get me. As I can still remember it, Renz was sneaking when I was talking to Paolo then poof! yelled at him. I'm really sorry dude. Charles took away the phone, his girlfriend was calling already. Then came along my bro, Ace with a plate of ice trying to make me calm and sober when he laid me down on the ground. Err. My dad decided to take me home.

It's already Saturday, I got up, uploaded photos in multiply and off again for another night with them, but we celebrated Bryan's birthday this time. Bryan is the younger brother of Charles and the older brother of Ada. We went to Mall of Asia and sat down at Gerry's for drinks. Woah. Drinks - 2 beer towers and a pitcher of that devastating blue drink which I really didn't like. Charles, Ada, Bryan, Kaycee, Ace, Karen, Carlo, Renz and I got there first then Kuya Jib and Kuya Ron followed. We went to malate, omg, without getting drunk or even tipsy - I felt I was too sleepy already and another casualty of flirting. Amp! Renz is a nice guy but he's a year younger than I am and he's still a kid - hell yeah! He took off with Carlo and Kuya Jib already cause he was drunk already. While me, Kaycee, Karen, Ada, Bryan, Kuya Ron were still waiting for Ace and Charles to get back from I don't know where they went. I'm sure that was already 4 am when they got back to pick us up. We went to Charles' place to sleep but before the slumber, Charles took off again with Kuya Ron, we had our cravings and off to McDonald's. McDonald's with Ate Karen, Ada, Bry, Kuya Jib and Carlo. After eating, Carlo went home for real. So as Kuya Jib. Back to the condo, we couldn't sleep though we were tired already then we finally slept.

Sunday afternoon, we all woke up and ate lunch. After lunch we can't think of anything to do so we went with Kuya Ron in their condo in Oriental Plaza for a while then back to Cityland. Ada and tita Cathy made carbonara which was really good! I loved it! Then after we ate, we decided to swim at ate Karen's in Goldland in Greenhills. Charles, Kaycee, Karen Ace and I were all thinking how to budget our "money" and what's the real plan, since we were killing so much time already. So its settled, we passed by my place, then off to get Ace's clothes, then to Kaycee's condo then at last - we're in GoldLand! The water was so cold but it really feels nice. After hours spent talking and swimming, its time to go home. But not just yet - we went to Jollibee in GH and ate dinner there.

Walked back to Gold Land and finally got a cab. Dropped off Kaycee first then Ace and then me and Charles. Finally, we get to rest at around 11 pm that night.

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This Is How We DO IT

2007-11-23T15:15:00.000+08:00

Happy 21^st birthday to my oh so dear beloved cousin, Ness! ♥ Just like any other people, I like hanging out with my family who eventually became my friends too. This is so much better to live with since the happiness and bond runs along our veins and it is the assurance that they will be there ‘til the test of time. Hours spent with these guys are the most carefree and stress less times that will be remembered for a lifetime. What I also love about it is my family also came along with my good friends, much as I want them to be included in the family line, the chemistry is enough to be kept and provide us with life long friendship.

Among the long list of the Garcia brothers and sisters, Ness and Carlo are the closest to me and my brother Ace since we belong in the same age group, and practically the same click as well. People of Manila as others call it. Also the matriarch side of Ness and Carlo’s whom we considered family extended the life and color of our bond. Specifically Ate Karen, Kaycee and Charles, more known as the Castillo’s, had joined into the preference of our so called Click.

This month, I was with these guys twice in a party finishing up 2 bottles of tequila, eating our hearts out, and rummaging over shawarma. While later tonight, the same thing will be happening again as we celebrate Engie’s/Ness’ 21^st birthday. And also can we leave Igue (Engie’s lover) behind? Of course not. He had been a part of the family for quite some time already, and what makes it more exciting is that my brother Ace and Kaycee is officially (but not legally) dating already. I’m so happy for you guys.

I am also wishing that my matriarch side, the Ablaza’s, will have this kind of bond as we grow older. Without a doubt the only thing that keeps our bond is that we live near each other but really, where is the communication between us? For all I know we are being updated courtesy of the rumors in the house. Sheesh, how can you consider us a family. Frowning upon on this fact, I don’t like the fact that we don’t even acknowledge each other’s presence. People, you’re not blind, you’re not even deaf. Why don’t you just say HI when someone greets you? Well they are not all bad, there’s an exception though, my younger cousin Camille. You’re not so young anymore; actually you’re of the legal age already. I have fun whenever I hang out with her though she’s a bit immature most the time. Peace out love!

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TO ALL LOST SOULS

2007-10-04T05:20:00.000+08:00

One day, we wake up and we realize the world sucks. We suck for being in it and we run away. Anything but to face ourselves as we are. Anything to avoid asking why we hate ourselves so much.

They say that the truth can set you free, that's a lie. The truth is lies can protect us. Lies keep us safe from the truth.

All I wanted was to be invisible. But being invisible isn't worth it in the end, because when you're invisible, other people may not see you, but you can't help seeing other people.

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Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice VIII

2007-10-03T05:33:00.000+08:00

I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you - kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.
-That Thing You Do!

Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts.
-The Last Kiss

I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.
-The object of my affection

In every doomed relationship, there comes what I like to call "The uh-oh moment". When a certain little something happens, and you know you've just witnessed the beginning of the end. And suddenly you stop and you think, "Uh-oh, iceberg ahead".
-Alfie

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Boracay 2007

2007-09-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

Day 1 Sept.19
It's my first time to travel by myself, my mom and I had different airlines but almost the same time of flight. From Manila, I took a plane going to Kalibo then 1-hour ride going to Caticlan. From Caticlan, a boat going to Boracay. I thought they will be dropping us by the shore like they used to do where you can land in front of your hotel, but no... They had a different port then I had to take a trike going to the hotel. What a hassle! Hassle hassle hassle, good thing I met this guy that knows the place pretty much. He's name is Don. We had the same flight, we were in the same van, and the same boat but we only talked when he decided to take me to my hotel because his office is just a stone throw away from my hotel. A gentleman. So there I was in La Carmela de Boracay with my mom, while she joins her colleagues in lunch, I'm out by the beach walking and looking for a place to eat but most places were closed during that time or if not, they were just hid by these plastic walls. I went to d mall and it was really great! I loved the place for a while but that's it, I had to wait for my salary the next day to shop. I decided to go back to the hotel and rest for a while (still hungry) then I remembered Mr. Don invited me for snacks in his office, hehe, so I brought my mom with me and there, they talke and talked while I ate. Hehe. Free food! After the chit chat my mom and I went walking by the beach, which is pretty cool, our bonding moment then we got a bit wet under the rain. Damn the rain! We had dinner at the hotel and the food sucks by the way. It's nice to have some alone time with my mommy.
Highlight of the day - met new friends, I'm absent from work, rest! Plus I'm back in Boracay! Weee!

Day 2 Sept. 20
Its a busy day, I got up around 5.30 in the morning and it was raining! What the hell, it is really a bad time to go to Bora during this time of the year, plus I got my period. Damn! Shopping, x. Swimming, x. Oh no, booze, x. But but but, smoking, check (: Hahaha!
We went boating around the island and it freaking rained! We ended up so wet, and I can say that the people there are really squeezing the money out of our pockets. I was pretty pampered by my mom, gawd I missed that a lot! When we got back to the hotel it was really cold as hell! I thought I'm gonna get sick. Luau in the evening at Boracay Tropics was great, I loved the food, at last I can say I was in a different place that moment. Still, no booze for me.
Highlight of the day - I'm looking forward to go shopping, but I had to wait until 6 in the evening to get my salary.

Day 3 Sept. 21
Its our last day in Bora and it was still raining. Damn. I didn't know how to enjoy the glorious place without getting wet, make it even worse, I didn't get my money! How I wanted to get back to Manila so bad! I did a quick shopping before I go back to Manila, I guess I'm not just fit for that moment. Too bad, I started to hate the place really really bad but I would still wanna go back.
Highlight of the day - Going back to Manila

It was quite fun for me, I had the rest I needed and time away from work aside from the fact I did not meet some expectations I had in mind like swimming, shopping, massage and booze.
But hey, practically everything was free. Free hotel and free food. That's nice. As my rest days were getting over, I met my cousin's boyps, Jason. I love you cuz! ♥ Thanks for the trip Mom!

***Rants***
I didn't get to see the UOLs when I got back ):
I hate small planes and long trips! Specially when you're all by yourself.
I hate the rain

Under the summer rain, I burnt away,
Under the summer rain, you turned away.

Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice IV

2007-09-16T16:42:00.000+08:00

I miss the drunken moments with my friends...
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